This past weekend, I went to Spin with my friend Chad. Don't ask me why we picked Spin, I don't like Spin, I mean, I've only been there twice, but I just don't like it. Whatever, I was there, so I decided to make the best of it. How does one make the best of something? Why, by dancing, of course! So Chad and I headed to the dance floor, jumped up on the dancing blocks, I looked around at the peeps below us, and was smacked across the face...by a bachelorette party. There they were, straight girls dressed in their clubbing best, surrounding a bride-to-be complete with a veil and a sash and penis straws. To be fair, the penis straws could have come from behind the bar at Spin, it is a gay bar after all. As I was looking at them, my face slowly went into "Stink-eye" mode, I felt my mouth turn frowny, I felt my nostrils flaring like some sort of gay bull, and I felt something else. It was hurt. I was hurt. Their presence in that gay bar, celebrating this girl's impending marriage, hurt me.
Not long ago, my dad was telling me about a column he read regarding gay bars who were putting up signs just saying "NO" to bachelorette parties. I applauded them at the time, and I'm applauding them even harder now. I get that the attendees of a bachelorette party just want to go someplace where they can dance around, get wasted and not have to worry about being hit on by men. But how severely insensitive of them to parade around in gay bars and clubs wearing veils and "Bride" sashes without any regard for the patrons that the bars are meant to serve: the gay community. A community whose members cannot get married, whose members have zero rights when it comes to their partners, whose members are surrounded by hate and discrimination...how dare these women come in and rub our faces in it, because that's what it feels like to me. Please don't misunderstand me, I have no problem with straight people "coming out" to our town. In fact, I'm all for it because most of my friends are straight. I also think that the meshing of gay and straight is a totally necessary thing if we ever are to be truly accepted and perceived as "normal". But it has to be done with respect to us and the issues we face, and that's what's lacking from these bachelorette parties: respect.
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1 comment:
Wow, Meta, VERY well spoken. I love the point of view your mind, your situation, and your identity provide. I also love your passion on this topic. I think it's wonderful you've started this platform for sincere, unadulterated expression on an issue that deserves and requires EXACTLY the kind of light and clarity that only you and your mind and your sensitivity are capable of bringing. You were born to be you, Lou. Tell everyone about it. You're like a Black Panther. Only, you're not black, and you're gay. (Does that make you a Pink Panther?)
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